"Cause I'm Bossy" -- Encourage Your Kids to LEAD!

November 6, 2021

Kel Amstutz

"Cause I'm Bossy"

Encourage Your Kids to LEAD... Not Boss

We have been on the topic of being "bossy" in our house lately. And, to be honest... it's been a buzz word in the business industry in regards to women for a few years now. 

 

Bossy Women leaders. 

 

It has lead to public name calling, hostile rants and escalated even further in some cases in main stream media. 

 

Throughout my career, there have not been enough females in the high executive positions. 

 

We can't deny this fact. 

 

I even faced this reality in my own career when I was blatantly told that I was, to be frank, the wrong gender and would never get the position that I was seeking.  

 

It left me hurt, frustrated, and scorn... if I am being honest. 

 

I mean, seriously... this still exists in our day and age. 

 

• I am qualified. 
• I am stepping up and I want to learn. 
• I am shadowing for THIS position... and was lead to believe that it could be mine... was within my reach... only to ask the right questions and be told the honest to goodness truth. 

 

 

This is not what I want my kids to see. 

 

I don't want them to think that because they are females they can't speak up, they can't go after the roles that men usually hold, or even that they can be held back. 

 

But... we call little girls bossy... and by doing that we are discouraging them from embracing these qualities that make effective leaders. 

 

The flip side of this is that young men who are assertive are actually applauded for their actions, while young ladies are given negative labels... and for taking that exact same initiative.  

 

My daughter has a friend who is constantly referred to as "bossy". 

 

She comes over and wants my daughter to play the game this way when it is her turn and changes the rules when it is my daughters turn. 

• They fight constantly. 
• They disagree regularly.  

And... I let them. 

 

I explained to my daughter that she has to fight for what she believes in (with her words) and has to stand up for herself. 

 

But... this friend should have that same right. 

 

Her mother could be coaching her the same as I do my daughter and it is not for me to step in and correct.. it is for me to actively listen and let my daughter navigate. 

There are so many powerful women leaders out there and I think it is so important to teach our daughters that it's okay to take the lead, to fight for what is right. 

 

It's okay to be called "bossy" or be looked at 

as if you are a bossy person. 

 

I am reserved and a bit on the shy side. 

 

But, I have been termed "bossy". 

•  It has not hindered my successes. 

• The qualities that have coined me with this label, have also given me courage to adopt a leadership role within my business, and pursue my interests and passions. 
  

• It has given my fellow Moms the drive to start new businesses and offered my voice to help fellow Moms raise respectable children in the process. 

But, I do want to disclaim that we should check our behavior and that of our children if we are being just down right mean or cruel. 

 

Whether you are a boy or a girl, woman or man, being rude or demeaning is never okay. 

 

But... it seems that being bossy really isn't so bad.

I highly doubt that the expression's negative tenor is the most effective means to help encourage leadership within young women, we can still find something admirable in the spirit of this "bossy" classification. 

 

If nothing else, it spotlights an enduring double standard which allows authoritative men to be routinely respected in society, while women with those same qualities are regarded as another word altogether. You know the one..

 

Gender stereotypes are alive and well, and to discard such, as parents, could really motivate our boys and girls to allow for an open platform for them to speak their opinions and emphasize the positive aspects of leadership. 

 

If we teach our kids to respect our leaders, no matter their gender or background, and push them to take on a little more responsibility and initiative, even if that means we have to be a bit more bossy to do it.  

 

It's OK to...

Be The Boss

Question time: 

In what ways have you encouraged your kids to lead? 

Be sure to leave your answer in the COMMENTS section below!